Privacy Policy

Privacy policy

Apparently every website has to have one of these. So, know yourself out! Here’s a privacy policy. TLDR: We don’t collect any personal data because we don’t want to and we don’t believe in it.

Who am I?

I’m Tom Tolkien. My website address is: . But you already know that if you’re reading this.

What personal data does this site collect and why we collect it

We don’t collect any personal information using this website. This website doesn’t want to know who you are, where you are or what you are interested in. Sorry!


This website doesn’t use comments, so – ‘No Commment!’


You can’t upload any media to this site. Sorry. The media used on this site is either correctly licensed or public domain.

Contact forms

There’s no contact form on this site. Get a pen or write us an email!


Cookies are not used by this site because I don’t like cookies, I like cake. And there’s no cake on this website either. Or crumbs. Or pieces of cracker.

Embedded content from other websites

There’s no embedded content from other websites, or emduveted content, emcushioned content or emchaise-longed content either.


As Bob Dylan said, “I don’t want to Analyze you, categorize you. Finalize you or advertise you.”

(We don’t use Analytics on this website).

Who we share your data with

This website doesn’t store any of your personal data and therefore doesn’t have anything to share with anyone, not that we would want to know or trust anyone to share any personal data with anyway. That’s not our kind of party.

How long we retain your data

We can’t retain data we don’t have; but even if we did have it we wouldn’t retain it – however exciting it probably isn’t.